Role Reversal

No, I didn't write it, but it makes a humorous, and not entirely inaccurate point about the state of our nation's immigration policies... except that it represents a role reversal

 

Best Wishes

 

Bernie

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Dear Mr. Obama:

 

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

 

We’re planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements. We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

 

I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I’m on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

 

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All Mexican government forms printed in English.

4. My children taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Classes on American culture and history for my children.

6. The American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Both breakfast and lunch for my children while they are in school.

 

8. A Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services. (I do plan to buy a car and drive in Mexico , but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws. Oh, and can you confirm that they have a cash-for-clunkers deal also? I’d like to get $4,500 from Mexico toward the purchase of my new Chevy.)

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. Food stamps.

15. Subsidized rent, of course.

 

16. I'll need Income tax credits so that, although I won't pay any Mexican income taxes, I'll receive money from its government.

17. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.


You're Da man!!!